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The Butane Brothers - Cream of Corn Man

from Best Of The Onus Phantom All​-​Stars, Vol​.​1 by Onus Records

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Serene: "When I was 13, I started a paper route so I could buy all the Beatle albums. Then the Beatles were just 8 or so years in the rearview mirror but people looked at you like you were buying Bing Crosby 78s. Or Frank Sinatra 10-inches. On my route was a senior citizens building where the actual cream of corn man lived. I hated waiting for him to pay me for the week because of that smell, probably formaldehyde mixed with cream of corn. And he took forever, so I would stare at these albums in a wire rack by the door that usually had Frank's ginormous face on the cover like a callout from a zillion years ago. The "Only the Lonely" cover admittedly gave me the willies.

didn't come out until 1981, beyond the timeline of this song.Sorry.

So it makes sense that I would use Beatles rip off songs I wrote in my teens to be the music for this odious ode. The bridge is me ripping off Beethoven's "Ode to Joy" which I remembered from Help! I originally put it on my 2016 album Silver Alert as it fit thematically but I wasn't really happy with the tune. I like it a lot better now that Tim is singing it but I still don't care for it much. Although, as the lyrics indicate, I own a lot of Frank LPS now but i I'm being Bono-fied truthful I've never plunked dow a quarter for "She Shot Me Down." And I enjoy the occasional cream of corn in my vegetarian chili!"

lyrics

Cream of Corn Man
Song written by Serene Dominic

When I was 10 I saw a ghost
Delivering the New York Post
I held my breath till his door closed
The smell of death stayed in my nose
Off all my ailing customers
I feared his failing health the worst
It stayed with me through all my days
What the Indians called maze

Cream of Corn Man he was a fan
Of the Chairman of the Board
He had every Frank album
In a wire rack by the door
On a bad day he would play "Only The Lonely"
On a good day "It might as well be swing"

When I grew up and grew out of being afraid of cream of corn, man
I made it the secret ingredient
In my chili vegetarian
But it doesn't take a PHD in Harry Chapin irony
To see all of the schadenfreude coming back to me
Now we return you to verse 3 of Cream of Corn man

Now I am old, "older than dirt!"
"Why'd you say that? That really hurt!"
But it's the truth. You think your youth
Would be forever shatterproof
Now Frank is gone, Frank Jr too
And pretty soon my time is due
No teleprompter for a clue
What's on the stove cooks my goose too

I'm cream of corn man and I'm a fan
Of the chairman of the board
I have every Frank album
In a wire rack by the door
On a bad day I will play "Only The Lonely"
On a good day "My Baby Shot Me Down"
credits

credits

from Best Of The Onus Phantom All​-​Stars, Vol​.​1, released August 11, 2020
Produced by Don "The Phantom" Glasser
Vocals by Tim McDonald & Serene Dominic
Guitar, keys and bass by Serene Dominic
Drums by Nick Pasco

released June 27, 2017

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